


will you fly too close to the sun? (will you be dragged into the ocean?)

by Jace_Diaz_Of_Hell



Category: marvel suggestion blogs
Genre: Gen, murder plant son origins, this is for my suggestion blog
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-10
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2020-04-23 21:11:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19159072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jace_Diaz_Of_Hell/pseuds/Jace_Diaz_Of_Hell
Summary: Icarus is almost four when his world shatters around him, and he doesn't understand it.





	1. Chapter 1

A baby boy was born in the springtime, to an exhausted young woman who wanted nothing more than a simple life.

 

At approximately four months, the baby had a tantrum, and green sparks flew out of his chubby fists.

 

The young mother, who had never seen any good side of magic, panicked. She put the baby in the first place she could think of- on a doorstep of a house a few streets away, where she had heard of things like ice magic and flying horses and people from other planets.

 

One month later, she moved away.

 

* * *

 

 

The baby was found twenty minutes after he was dropped there, adopted by a pregnant woman and her girlfriend from the stars.

 

Several months later found him with an older brother named Dale and a younger sister named Ari.

 

And the baby didn’t know much, but he knew this- he was safe, he was loved, and he had a big brother who loved playing with him.

 

And then the big brother went missing, stolen away in the middle of the afternoon by someone the family trusted.

 

* * *

 

When Icarus was almost four, his world was ruined, and he barely had a clue what his life would become.

 

A false wall got torn open and his mommy fell in, scooping up Ari in her arms. The man next to her- his Uncle- picked up Icarus, and held Icarus’ head to his shoulder, and told him to _not look._

 

And then they ran.

 

After a while, he thought it _must_ be safe ( he had had his eyes closed for longer than he could even count!) and opened his eyes a peek.

 

And then he immediately started crying, which made Ari look and start crying.

 

All around were giant buildings falling, things on fire. Almost too far for the little boy to see, a giant crater hovered.

And they were being chased. The people were a long way away, but they were coming.

 

Icarus closed his eyes again, clinging onto his Uncle’s shirt.

 

* * *

 

In a few short months, memories faded. Icarus forgot about his big brother, unless Mommy told stories. He forgot he had another parent, except in the back of his mind when he remembered someone big who looked like Ari. Eventually, he forgot that his Uncle was his Uncle and started calling him _dad,_ because that was what he thought he was.

 

And he forgot about playing, forgot about being loud and focused on being _safe_ instead. Like a never ending game of hide and seek.

 

That was just his life now.

 

* * *

 

 

They were always running.

 

Icarus was five years old and tired. Five years old and quiet, too scared to screech when he was happy or yell when he wasn’t. Ari was four and the same way. But it was okay, because it made it easier for them to hide.

 

The bad guys- the soldiers from the Rep-re-sentative- were still looking for them.

 

But they were together.

 

Until one day, when he had been walking for a while so Mommy could use her sword.

 

The bad guys came and they had to run, and Icarus lost mommy and dad and Ari. He was tiny, and alone, and all he wanted to do was _cry_ (but mommy had said if he was too loud the bad people would find him and steal him, like his big brother had been stolen, and then he’d _never_ see his family again.)

 

He crawled under a porch, and curled up into a ball and closed his eyes and tried not to shake too hard. The footsteps were slowing down, coming closer, _they were going to find him-_

 

The footsteps stopped. And then moved away again.

 

“Nothing but plants under there. Must have been there for years.” A voice said.

 

Icarus dared to open his eyes- just enough to see there were thick, long vines all around him, wrapping him up and poking out through the holes between wood chunks.

And then his eyes closed, and he slept.

 

He wasn’t sure how long he was under the porch before the others found him. Long enough that he woke up a couple of times, the sky a different color each time, until he woke up to his (Dad? Uncle? _Darryl. )_ pulling him out from under the porch, hugging him tightly and maybe crying.

 

* * *

 

 

When Icarus was six years old, his sister stopped calling herself Ari and started calling herself Dare. She said it made her feel braver.

 

Icarus didn’t understand it until Darryl (uncle again, it had been clarified) put a knife in his hand, told him to keep his sister safe, and shut the closet door.

 

Sitting in the darkness, feeling the handle of the knife over and over, Icarus wondered if it was a bad thing that he felt happy to have it. 

 

* * *

 

 

When he was seven years old, something exploded not too far away from him. After that, loud noises were a very strong _no._

 

Listening to a storm went from interesting to terrifying, each rumble of thunder making him curl up tighter, make vines wrap themselves around his fingers and wonder if he’d ever really know what _safe_ felt like.

 

* * *

 

 

Things started to calm down. The world around him was no longer a constant disaster, because war was happening somewhere else. Now the soldiers that chased them were fewer and farther between.

 

Icarus was nine years old, lying hidden in a small house somewhere in Delaware. And instead of thinking about school, or superheroes or games, Icarus wondered if there was a boy somewhere on the other side of the world who was as afraid as he was.

 

* * *

 

 

It took almost two years.

 

Two years of sneaking around and being hidden. Two years of outright running (and one fight Icarus would never forget, where the only thing that saved him was the vines that burst out of the ground and caged him in until mom could kill the soldier and Uncle Darryl could cut him loose.) Two years of surviving, and then they met a scout party.

 

And suddenly there was no  more running. There was no more fighting, no more worry about where they would be the next day.

 

Icarus was eleven years old when they made it to Manhattan. His mom _cried,_ actually cried, holding onto someone who was blue and taller than her like the world would end if she let go.

 

People told Icarus and Dare they were safe now. That they could be loud if they wanted, be kids if they wanted.

 

Icarus and Dare picked out a room with two beds, and slept with their shoes on. Icarus kept his knife under his pillow, one hand on it; Dare had her magic ready to make ice weapons at any given time.

 

* * *

 

 

These kids were so _happy._ They were loud, and cheerful, and didn’t need to worry about running unless it was for fun. They screamed and yelled and had fits and learned.

 

Icarus wasn’t sure whether to be happy for them or so jealous he could hardly breathe.

 

Instead he read all the books he could. He learned what he could learn and then he helped teach the little kids.

 

And if he woke up in the middle of the night crying over what he hadn't had, no one knew except Dare.

 

* * *

 

 

Two years passed. It started to get easier for Icarus. He was able to understand that maybe he really was safe here.

 

And then Uncle Darryl and Loki (Mom’s spouse- he wasn’t sure if he could call them his mum or not, and didn’t want to ask) left in the middle of the night and showed up again with Dale.

 

And Icarus was so excited it was almost painful.

 

He had grown up hearing stories about Dale. About how much Dale had loved him and loved being his brother. About how Dale was stolen by an evil person who decided that his family wasn’t good enough.

 

So, Icarus thought it was a chance.

A chance to have a bigger family. To have a big brother. To have someone he could talk to his age besides Dare. And maybe to have someone else who understood why he felt the way he did.

 

And then.

 

Then Dale thought that the Representative was _good._ He didn’t believe Icarus’ stories about hiding, about wondering if this was the day his mom wouldn’t come back to find him, about heavy plants being his only shield and a short knife being the only thing that kept him thinking rationally.

 

So Icarus got upset. He started trying to give more proof. He started trying to make Dale understand, to say, _this is why I’m afraid._

 

And Dale. didn’t. listen.

 

Instead, he got mad. He said that Icarus wasn’t his _real_ brother or he’d understand, and something inside of Icarus broke.

 

Because his whole life, he had wanted his big brother, had wanted his family to be together. But his big brother didn’t want him.

 

And it was all because of The Representative.

* * *

 

Icarus ran away. He didn’t really know what else to do- he was a bad little brother and he was mad and he was so sad it felt like his heart hurt. He wanted to fix things.

 

Which was how, a trip to the library and a conversation with a god later, he was twelve years in the past, holding a weathered photo of a house and his old, but sharp, knife.


	2. Chapter 2

He knows what he has to do- knows life will be better if he kills the Representative- but people won’t  _ let  _ him. There’s someone there named Jacopo who sees him and runs, and then his Mom and Uncle Darryl are there- and they won’t let him go after the Representative. 

 

Uncle Darryl looks  _ young-  _ still tired, but not as exhausted as he always was in Icarus’ timeline. 

 

But he won’t listen to Icarus and it’s frustrating. And then, when Icarus is arguing with him, he uses his stern  _ I’m-in-charge-here  _ voice that makes Icarus snap to attention. 

 

And he takes Icarus knife. The one he’s had for seven years now, that he’s kept carefully sharp and maintained and Icarus can’t help but panic. 

 

* * *

 

It takes him a while to find his footing here in this new place. These people are his family, yeah, but the rules and their personalities are different in ways he can’t quite put his finger on. Probably the most frustrating thing is the way his weapons keep getting confiscated- how is he supposed to ever protect himself if he can’t have anything to do it??

 

He almost has what feels like a fit after Uncle Darryl finds him in the basement and takes his knife  _ again,  _ because Icarus is so desperate for something he’s not sure how to articulate and no one here understands it. He misses Dare so badly it’s like an ache in his chest, because he still sleeps with his shoes on (and a rock in hand, because his knife has been confiscated and he needs  _ something.)  _ He’s still so ready to run he shakes with it, and no one around him feels his urgency anymore. 

 

* * *

 

He settles in slowly, gets to know his family and his new siblings. 

 

There’s Jacopo, who’s his older brother. He’s quiet, and nice, and somehow even more afraid than Icarus is, but in different ways. But he understands that Icarus is afraid, and it turns out he’s Dale from a different timeline than Icarus is from. 

 

Jacopo is nice. He lets Icarus use his weighted blanket when Icarus is hiding from a storm, and he doesn’t judge Icarus for crying, and he doesn’t think Icarus is bad even though Icarus came here wanting to kill someone. 

 

Then there’s Dale- the little Dale, who’s three years old and absolutely  _ adorable-  _ Icarus has never seen a kid as cute as Dale, he thinks. 

  
  


Its fun to play with him, build blocks or play tag in the backyard. 

And he gets to see firsthand what his mom meant about how Dale had loved him, because Dale absolutely adores baby Carrie. He tries to carry him everywhere, despite the fact that Carrie is almost half his height.

 

Icarus watches them play together. He holds Ari, this baby version of his little sister, and he realizes what he missed out on in his life, and it makes him sad all over again, and only more determined to change things. 

 

* * *

 

One day he gets cornered by his mom and his Uncle, and they talk to him. 

 

They tell him that he needs to stop trying to kill the Representative. Icarus demands to know why, and his uncle is the one to answer him, tells him he doesn’t want to come home and find Icarus’ body at the bottom of the stairs. 

 

He tries to argue it, and he realizes his arguments are weak, and finally he breaks down. 

 

He finds the words to explain it, and it makes his Uncle understand again more. 

 

* * *

 

He’s adjusting slowly. 

 

In the mornings he cuts vines off of his arms and throws them in the garbage. He watches Dale go to school and he learns more about his family. 

 

And now that he promised he wouldn’t try and hurt anyone, he’s just a little bit unsure what to do. 

 

He mentions he can grow things, and Jacopo asks to see, so Icarus shows him. He grows forget-me-nots and buttercups until the world goes black around him. 

 

There’s a moment of panic when he wakes up, not quite sure where he is or what’s going on, and then he sees his big brother coming to check on him. 

 

And for the first time in his life, he finds himself thinking  _ that’s right. I’m home.  _

 

* * *

 

Things start to fall apart again. 

 

A version of the person who helped Icarus time travel- another person named Loki, who the other kids called grandpa- dies, and mom leaves to rescue him. She comes back, but the entire time she’s gone Icarus is trying to distract the other kids (and maybe distract himself from how afraid he is she won’t be back.)

 

Then Uncle Darryl leaves. Or at least, Icarus  _ thinks  _ he does, but he comes back. And then it turns out that it’s not his Uncle but its Loki (mum? Icarus still isn’t sure if he’s allowed to call them that), and Jacopo is upset all over again, because people keep lying to him. 

 

So Mom leaves and goes to get Uncle Darryl. And while she’s gone, Loki leaves. And then Jacopo leaves after Mom comes back, sneaks out after Icarus made a suggestion.

 

And then  _ Mom  _ leaves, and that’s the worst one of all, because Icarus thought his Mom would never leave. 

 

Uncle Darryl disappears for a day and a half, and comes back with Mom in tow. And Icarus accepts the hug she gives him and the books, but he’s cautious, and Jacopo is even more so. 

 

Icarus goes to sleep early that night. When he cries, no one is there to hear him and check on him. And the only thing he thinks is,  _ will we ever be a family?  _

 

* * *

 

Things slowly calm down. Mom starts going to therapy the same way that Jacopo does. After a while it occurs to Icarus he’s been wearing the same two outfits for weeks now, so he asks Uncle Darryl for some money and wanders off to the thrift store. 

 

He comes out with three shirts, two pairs of pants, and a soft purple skirt that he liked. 

 

Uncle Darryl blinks a little when he changes into it, but doesn’t comment further.

 

* * *

 

When he was younger he was running all the time. So there was never really time to worry about things like gender. And then in Manhattan, he was too busy adjusting to life there to care. And so many of the people around him were gender nonconforming. 

 

So, when he went to buy himself a slushee and the cashier called him  _ miss,  _ Icarus was a little surprised at how happy it made him. 

 

Other things make him happy too. Like when he wins a little tube of lip gloss from a game machine while he’s out with Mom. Like how  _ pretty  _ he looks wearing it, and how his hair is down to his chin now and wavy.

Eventually he musters up enough courage to talk to his Uncle about it, and he finds out a new word. 

 

_ Genderfluid.  _ She thinks, then says the word aloud to see how it feels. It makes her smile. 

 

_ Huh. So I guess I’m a girl.  _

  
  



End file.
